some mad hope.

she takes me high.

2010-09-07T00:13:00.003+08:00

when i'm surrounded by people. when school is over and i kick off my shoes. when the night is almost done and complete silence sinks in for a split second. when the songs on my playlist come on. when the book is open in front of me and i've stopped to think. when i've run out of thoughts to keep myself busy.

you make your way into my mind. i don't know, why this is so much harder than the first time. but i think that empty feeling i feel inside when night comes, is me feeling lonely, without you.

i'm down on both my knees, to pray tomorrow brings no pain.

2010-09-03T18:45:00.002+08:00

you looked like the loneliest fish in the world in there. i want to save you. :(

macintosh♥

2010-07-16T01:49:00.006+08:00

one night in bed, i wondered. what if my heart were like an iPod? it would always carry a tune and everytime you touched it, it would light up. you would always know, when you've tickled someone's heart. :)

crazy idea.

finals.

2010-07-12T21:03:00.005+08:00

for the world cups finals, we did something erm.. different. he came over to watch the game with us. the match went into extra time so by the time it ended it was around 5am. after the award ceremony, we decided to go for breakfast instead of sleep. went for mcd. :D

got home at around 7am. and slept through lunch til 2pm. :)
ah, good day.

finally.

2010-07-01T01:14:00.005+08:00

i get to take long showers now! ah, who doesn't love the holidays. :D taking the time to stop and smell every flower, notice every cloud, count every star and watch every episode of how i met your mother. haven't gotten the chance to do that for the past month, everything going at full speed.

the past few days have been an exciting start to my holidays which have only just begun. the night after exams went out on a date with a special someone. japanese. looking forward to spending more days with you.

the following day, i had the privilege of meeting up with the sweetest girl in the world, my best friend. :) she's back and i'm the happiest piece of poo alive. (not literally a piece of poo, inside joke? ;p) we had lunch and talked so much, the waitresses got tired of staring us down til we paid the bill because we didn't til we were done talking. we had a 4 hour lunch. hahah. i love how you still make me feel so perfectly comfortable when we're together, how we still have so much to say to each other after all these years. and even when we don't, the silence feels right.

that night i managed to catch a dvd with him. cloudy with a chance of meatballs. i know its extremely overdue but its sooo cute!

didn't do much today. had a very laid back afternoon. thanks for coming back for me tonight. and for the game. had fun as usual. :)

have to get up bright and early tomorrow! excited. :D

you know who you are.

2010-06-10T00:12:00.003+08:00

somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby. if happy little blue birds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why, can't i?

the other day, in the car, i watched an aeroplane cut through the sky. and as i watched its slow stride across those clouds, i wished that our car would go faster so that i would not lose sight of that plane and that it would not leave my car window.

i think about you alot lately. its not easy being so far away from you sometimes. halfway across the world. the distance doesn't keep us apart, but sometimes i can't help missing you. i think of going far away, maybe to you. sometimes life so far away just seems so exciting, that i lose my own for a little while. is the grass always greener on the other side?

i know you're coming home. and i'll be done soon. i can't wait. :)

its getting away.

2010-06-01T02:21:00.003+08:00

so there's something on my mind. i cannot make it go away. it pokes and prods at the corners of my mind and heart. it takes away my focus. it screams in both ears the moment i threaten to forget it. at the end of the day, it just doesn't go away.

sometimes you drive me crazy. and i just cannot read you. i am lost. and i don't know the way out.

and i can't even begin to talk about it, because i just don't know where to start.

2010-05-19T23:30:00.001+08:00

is it okay, to want to cry about it?
please, don't fall apart now.

dirty little secret.

2010-05-17T23:41:00.004+08:00

i enjoy the adrenaline i rush i get when i look through those notes. to know what you're doing, to challenge your personal best and have it change each time. it excites me. :D

i am a nerd.

p/s thank you for these wonderful past few days. everything has become more exciting after you've entered my life. and the world is a more colourful place.
counting the days. lets make this last. :)

still dreaming.

2010-05-09T23:22:00.004+08:00

its been awhile since any day has gone so smoothly as yesterday. the way everything fell into its perfect place, it almost felt like a dream♥

and you made it a day that i will never forget. thank you. :)

blue skies.

2010-05-04T22:56:00.001+08:00

let our hearts burn with a flame. a fire consuming all for your son's holy name. and with the heavens we declare, you are our king♥

the only thing better than the blue sky in the morning, is the blue sky at night. :) if i reach out far enough, i feel like i could almost reach you, even though you're always by my side.
you answer every prayer, whether or not i've personally made one. because you know my heart. and what it holds. and how it longs. or how it hurts. how it smiles. and how it beats.

the hardest thing would probably be to single out one personal experience with you. because my whole life feels like our experience together. there isn't a moment whereby you do not bless me within the capabilities of your power, which are infinite.

i'm at this point of the road now, whereby i just do not know how to move further. i find myself lost for direction, desperate for some sort of an answer. but i don't know the question. i'm gonna trust you. i'm putting my blindfold on.

so, please hold my hand as you always do.

living.

2010-05-02T23:07:00.003+08:00

can i forget about the way it feels to touch you?
and all about the good times that we've been through.
could i wake up without you every day?

could i forget the look that tells me that you want me?
and all the reasons that make loving you so easy.
the way you know just what i mean.

i don't want to try.

fairytale.

2010-05-02T02:38:00.005+08:00

today was a fairytale, you were the prince. i used to be a damsel in distress. you took me by the hand and you picked me up at six.
you told me i was pretty when i looked like a mess.

today was a fairytale.
but can you feel this magic in the air?

fell in love when i saw you standing there. it must have been the way today was a fairytale♥.

everything you do for me, its real. i feel like i've known you forever and yet i've never met anyone like you. if we were a story book, the words would jump out of every page, and the colors would overflow from its edges.
you're like my favourite song that i just cannot get enough of. and if i could, i'd put you on loop. again and again. :)

its like a dream. but don't pinch me. 'cause i don't ever want to wake up. :)

i dream.

2010-04-30T00:55:00.009+08:00

"i still can't believe it. i feel like i'm dreaming."

"could you please not wake up?"

peanut.

2010-04-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

how cute are you. :))

butterflies.

2010-04-26T00:23:00.003+08:00

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (1900-1944) French Aviator, Writer

you know what i love to drink. and you buy it for me every time. and each time its in a different brand.

you allow me the taste of all sorts of sensations. and i love how different they all are. the way they never fail to surprise me. and make the butterflies in me tingle and do a little dance.

23/04

2010-04-24T03:06:00.002+08:00

thank you for this day. it wasn't the smoothest but it was perfect. :)

crowded.

2010-04-22T23:53:00.004+08:00

so i have these feelings. and sometimes i think that you forget that.

i have tried. its just, i'm still as human as i was before. and its not working.
its like standing still, right in the middle of a crowd. as they push by, as you resist. at some point you're gonna fall.

and give up.

smile.

2010-04-21T01:36:00.003+08:00

smile though your heart is aching
smile even though its breaking
when there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

if you smile through your pain and sorrow
smile and maybe tomorrow
you'll see the sun come shining through
for you.

everything's going to be okay. i just know it.

i hope for it.

♥

2010-04-17T16:28:00.002+08:00

its not you. its me.

really.

gravity.

2010-04-11T02:45:00.003+08:00

so maybe its the stress, but i'm losing control of my mind.

i panic too quickly, i hate too strongly and i hurt too easily.
and why does it hurt? because you have a piece of me.

i try not to ruin it. i keep it all to myself, and yet i wish you'd share the decisions you make, with me. i am selfish. but i just hate feeling so clueless.

and what am i doing? living like time were something to spare. drop everything to come running to where i thought you needed me. i know i pretend i know what i'm doing. but i don't.

and i'd do crazy things. and i wouldn't even know it. but i don't mind.

i'm free falling.
fast. at random. with no real direction.

catch me?

him and i.

2010-04-04T03:01:00.002+08:00

everything always goes so well, because He watches my every move. and He lays the path for me. it isn't always easy, but it is always interesting. the lessons He teaches, the steps He takes to carry me further.

leaving mass today i realised one thing. that He blesses us. in every single way and that life is good. these blessings aren't handed to us one by one. they are showered on us, more than we ever take time to notice. and i am grateful.

my Father, He has my back. and i've got His. :)

true colors.

2010-04-03T00:12:00.002+08:00

if this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear. you call me up because you know i'll be there.

:)))

2010-04-01T01:53:00.001+08:00

i'm not lonely. i just need you.

i quote.

2010-03-31T00:59:00.004+08:00

"you're so deep."

"how deep?"
"as deep as the ocean."
"have you fallen into me?"
"i think i might have.."

catch life.

2010-03-30T17:33:00.002+08:00

in my attempt to catch up, i am dragging along baggage that i do not want. before i had the time to get out of bed, everything had already begun moving. and i was forced to leave or be left.

fear gets nothing done. before the coming blow runs me over, i must move.

pick me up.

whyyy?

2010-03-29T02:11:00.001+08:00

omg. i'm eating.

its 2am. :'(

remember me.

2010-03-28T00:33:00.002+08:00

it was nice.
wonderful.
thank you :)

s.o.s.

2010-03-26T22:19:00.003+08:00

i need one of those hug things, julia.

come home now and do me the favour, please?

slump.

2010-03-24T15:33:00.002+08:00

having a thinking block. cannot seem to get moving on any of my work.

sigh.
i just woke up and already i feel like going back to sleep.
yeah, i know its 3:30pm.

taking chances.

2010-03-23T17:23:00.004+08:00

i just want to start again
and maybe you could show me how to try
and maybe you could take me in
somewhere underneath your skin

what do you say to taking chances?
what do you say to jumping off the edge?

starting over clean.